today i was scared/nervous/being a baby.
i took my first real sub job and i knew it would come and that i would never be ready but i took it.
first of all, i was pretty sure subbing was NOT going to be for me because i am not the kind of person who feels good about showing up somewhere to teach without a PLAN.
second, i look a 17 year old. who the heck is going to listen to me when i look the same age, if not older, than them. even when i try to dress older, i still look young.
third, i am that kid. the kid that spent high school pretty comfortable, and didn't really leave the comfort zone at all for college, etc.
today i went to a "scary school". i knew i would sub at schools i hadn't been to or was scared of in school, but i thought i would get the opportunity to ease into these schools... maybe start with a more familiar school? or at least a middle school? but no. i get called for a "scary" HIGH school.
it was a call for only three hours of subbing in a math class... so I took it.
as i drove up to the school, my stomach got sick.
when i got to the office the office administrator was walky-talkying the security guard to escort a boy out of PE who had his friends lift him up so he could "show is b-o-t-t-o-m" to the neighboring class in PE. yup, i was really here and this totally made me feel better not.
then i went to the class.
it was so fun. i really love subbing and high school students and math and meeting DIFFERENT types of students and i can't wait to go back! yeaaaaah!
today was a good day.
and that's the truth.